Shake them out

My sister always says to me that result is not anything when you are in the university.
That is ...hmm..., true.
But let just back to reality.
We always do comparison since we were born.
From kindergarten until university. We always compare the marks on the examination sheet.
Even after we graduated, we compare the amount of money we can earn. 
How wealthy is your family, how big is your house, how expensive is your car, or even, how beautiful is your wife?

This is a cruel world. A mad world indeed. 


So please tell me, result is not anything? Not at all.
Right now, at this moment, examination result is everything for me.
Yeah, I bet is the kiasu attitude in me, perhaps, the air surrounded around me.

This is the story :
I used to be always get teased by people. I can always take it as a joke. I smiled and laughed. That is the only way I can continue with the conversation. I am not angry nor sad. I am not that confident enough as the rest, that is my weakness, and so I think I deserve all these teases. 


I was searching the so called confidence in the past.
Right now I am searching for something which can make me feel good about myself, can let my parents feel proud about me.

I have nothing left.
Besides writing out nonsense on a piece of paper and posting some non-nutritious blog posts on my blog, I do not have anything left to make me feel better about myself.
Sometimes even in a casual conversation with bunch of friends, I can hardly feel the "yeah".
By doing my very best in every test and examination in every semester, and thus get a good result, is the only thing I can feel good about myself.

Eventhough I can't guarantee that these examination result I get can brings the success of my future, but something I know right now is that, it is everything for me to feel good about me as a person.

That is also always the reason why I wanna learn new things to stuff up my life.
I've found the importance to always learn something new to me.
Even if it is a half-filled pail (direct translation). But I don't care. 

Yeah.
This is rather random.
I am not disappointed, I am not sad. Just neutral.
I am just shaking it out, something that haunts me.
Here is the song :


Sorry, don't get tired of the frequency of the glee song videos in my blog.
Just a nice song wanted to share.

GET A LIFE, YOU NERD!
I BET YOU DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE.
*Okay*